Dear faithful readers:
Please allow me to take this momentary detour. This letter is personal, and if it applies to you or someone you know, please seek out the appropriate resources. Domestic Violence is more than just a physical assault. It is emotional, financial, and psychological abuse as well.
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1.800.799.7233
Hi. You don’t know me, but you’ve heard about me. I’m the one who wants to “kill myself” because I can’t be with him. I’m the “crazy” one. I’m the one responsible for ruining his life. I’m the one that he can’t seem to stop talking about. I’m the one who’s name you know better than your own.
He’ll regale you with stories of fast cars, fast women, drugs, and enjoying the finer things in life because of his previous lifestyle. He may even make a promise to be different than your ex.
He is a grandiose visionary…but it’s all a pipe dream. He doesn’t have the wherewithal to execute those elaborate visions.
He’ll use poetic language, offer you the world, and even say things like, “I shine, you shine, we shine together.” But when it comes down to it, he won’t follow through on those promises.
He’s charming, charismatic, and a bad boy. He lives life on the edge, and it’s exciting for you. Every once in a while, he’ll even make you feel special.
What is unsaid is that he’ll become narcissistic. He’ll tell you that one of your best friends is a bad person because he has a personal beef with them…all while denying that he has an issue with your friend. He’ll control you, your money, and your life. He’ll tear you down, and refuse to help build you up. That car he promised you won’t be the BMW or Mercedes he swore he’d put you in. You’ll be lucky if it’s a 20-year-old Honda that’s literally held together with duct tape and bungee cords.
He won’t be gentle. He’ll end up declaring that he’ll “hit it and quit it”. You will be his girlfriend when it’s convenient for him to call you so.
The reality is that he is an addict with unresolved mental health issues. He refuses to seek treatment, claiming that “you can’t fix broken”. There will be a time where he chooses meth over you. You are merely an option in his life. He won’t get violent with you, however, he will leave his scars on you. How do I know?
I was in your shoes.
Run while you can, girl. Run far and hide well. He doesn’t deserve to seek you out. You deserve better.